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Rude People Be Like
"Social jui-jitsu"
Today’s Email
“You don’t win when you get louder than them, you win when you learn why they are yelling in the first place.”
It’s ENTICING to get louder when being shouted at… but what does this accomplish?
They either get louder or walk away feeling inferior.
Both of the least favorable outcomes.
So what’s the best course of action?:
"You don't win when you get louder than them... You win when you learn why they are loud in the first place."
Instead of matching their energy, try to understand why they're freaking out. Then use that piece of info to cut throught the surface level and hit them with a reality check. Make them too stunned to speak & feel heard by agreeing to the way they feel and sharing your truth afterwards.
The most common reason why people yell at you is from being yelled at from their upbringing, generational trauma, & authoritative conitioning.
Think about it.
Maybe they're feeling insecure, or scared, or just plain misunderstood.
Maybe they're projecting their own stuff onto you.
Whatever it is, there's usually a reason behind the noise.
Now, this ain't about being a doormat or letting people walk all over you. It's about finding a way to connect, even when things get heated. It's about seeing the person behind the anger, the fear, the frustration. And going “meta” (beyond) the surface level to see what’s really going on to make a REAL impact on the situation.
It's not always easy… Sometimes you gotta take a step back, take a deep breath, and remind yourself that everyone's just trying to get through their own mess.
So next time someone trys to shout at you, try this: Listen with a smile on your face (or stoic face… whichever you prefer) & remain grounded in your energy by focusing on putting yourself in a 3rd person viewpoint of the situation. Then see if you can figure out what's really going on. You might be surprised at what you learn. :)
Your friend,
Elvis
P.s. But you may think “Nah, they deserve it, they shouldn’t talk to anyone like that”
Agreed.
However, when you decide to shout back at them, it only makes you feel superior temporarily but they will most likely not change their ways. That’ll require some personal development on their own time.
Yelling back satisfies your ego, Peace-making satisfies your soul (aka your real self).
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